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It's the Secret Service for Christ's sake. "Secret" as in shut the fuck up. "Service" as in you work for me, so why don't you shut the fuck up.

It's the Secret Service for Christ's sake.
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274 shares

That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking mess

That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking mess
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507 shares

Did the President Call? No? OK.

Did the President Call? No? OK.
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295 shares

Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point.

Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point.
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286 shares

I need that stuff that junkies use. You know, when it takes a cop like 15 bullets to put em down.

I need that stuff that junkies use. You know, when it takes a cop like 15 bullets to put em down.
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275 shares

It's the Secret Service for Christ's sake. "Secret" as in shut the fuck up. "Service" as in you work for me, so why don't you shut the fuck up.

It's the Secret Service for Christ's sake.
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274 shares

Well we are the United States of America, because we are united... and we are states... and we are of America.

Well we are the United States of America, because we are united... and we are states... and we are of America.
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252 shares

You take your eyebrows and you get out

You take your eyebrows and you get out
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247 shares

That's a cherry on top of this whole turd cake.

That's a cherry on top of this whole turd cake.
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243 shares

Birthday gift suggestions for an unnamed White House aide. Suggestion number one: a cake in the shape of a dick. Suggestion number two: a smart new hat in the shape of a dick.

Birthday gift suggestions for an unnamed White House aide. Suggestion number one: a cake in the shape of a dick. Suggestion number two: a smart new hat in the shape of a dick.
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235 shares

okay kittens time to get drowned

okay kittens time to get drowned
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220 shares

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