Story Time Jesus

So this guy is trying to crucify me and i'm like Bro, do you even lift?

So this guy is trying to crucify me and i'm like Bro, do you even lift?  Story Time Jesus

Y entonces que Chees y Chabelo avientan la primera pierda... y todavia me gritan sin yolis cuate!! No mames!!

Y entonces que Chees y Chabelo avientan la primera pierda... y todavia me gritan sin yolis cuate!! No mames!!  Story Time Jesus

There was this women who was possessed by this demon I exorcised the shit out of that demon

There was this women who was possessed by this demon I exorcised the shit out of that demon   Story Time Jesus

Wait a second .... I was there. none of that happened.

Wait a second .... I was there. none of that happened.  Story Time Jesus

So mom says, "you're not wearing that to school", So then i'm like "the lord never changes."

So mom says,

Aite, so - i am god and the son of god and i sacrifice myself to myself to make up fo all dat shit you be doin wit free will that you ain' using like you postabe.....aww fuckit hey dawg, run on down der to dat river & get some water i can turn into gin -

Aite, so - i am god and the son of god and i sacrifice myself to myself to make up fo all dat shit you be doin wit free will that you ain' using like you postabe.....aww fuckit hey dawg, run on down der to dat river & get some water i can turn into gin -   Story Time Jesus

Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed - he was a poor mountaineer Barely kept his family fed Then one day jed was shooting at some food and up through the ground came a bubblin crude! Oil that is, Black gold, Texas Tea

Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed - he was a poor mountaineer
Barely kept his family fed Then one day jed was shooting at some food and up through the ground came a bubblin crude!
 Oil that is, Black gold, Texas Tea  Story Time Jesus

Y Entonces dijo: Si no me agacho, me pasa lo que al perico.

Y Entonces dijo: Si no me agacho, me pasa lo que al perico.  Story Time Jesus

So I was all like Who wants weed?

So I was all like
 Who wants weed?  Story Time Jesus

So I get back to earth and they've put all these crosses up everywhere and I'm like what the hell... You think if JFK comes back, he wants to see sniper rifles all over the place?

So I get back to earth and they've put all these crosses up everywhere and I'm like what the hell... You think if JFK comes back, he wants to see sniper rifles all over the place?    Story Time Jesus
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