One job

One job - YOU ONLY HAD ONE JOB. ONE! Scumbag Brain

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The bell rings in 30 seconds and you're wearing sweatpants? Here, have an erection

The bell rings in 30 seconds and you're wearing sweatpants? Here, have an erection

Hates getting tickled Laughs

Hates getting tickled Laughs

hey, you know what your girlfriend will love? call her your ex's name

hey, you know what your girlfriend will love? call her your ex's name

Wakes you up three times before your alarm goes off to make sure you don't miss it Sleeps through alarm

Wakes you up three times before your alarm goes off to make sure you don't miss it Sleeps through alarm

Hey, you seem pretty stressed I bet some acne will help with that

Hey, you seem pretty stressed I bet some acne will help with that

Oh, so you hate this song? Don't worry, i will remember it.

Oh, so you hate this song? Don't worry, i will remember it.

Knows with 100% certainty that the door is locked forces you out of bed to check that it's locked anyway

Knows with 100% certainty that the door is locked forces you out of bed to check that it's locked anyway

You've practiced this a million times? Oh, let's screw up when you try to show someone

You've practiced this a million times? Oh, let's screw up when you try to show someone

Oh, you just brushed your teeth? I'm Hungry

Oh, you just brushed your teeth? I'm Hungry

Completely awake between classes Falling asleep during class

Completely awake between classes Falling asleep during class
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