I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toe boot. But this hotel always serves bacon wrapped shrimp. That’s my number one favorite food wrapped around my number 3 favorite food. I’d go to a banqu

I enjoy government functions 

 like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toe boot. But this hotel always serves bacon wrapped shrimp. That’s my number one favorite food wrapped around my number 3 favorite food. I’d go to a banqu - I enjoy government functions 

 like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toe boot. But this hotel always serves bacon wrapped shrimp. That’s my number one favorite food wrapped around my number 3 favorite food. I’d go to a banqu  Ron Swanson

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Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of karma." What I said was, "Give me all the karma you have."

Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was,

All of my problems are first world problems. Because I live in the first world.

All of my problems are first world problems.

 Because I live in the first world.

I will walk deeper into the belly of the beast if it means I'm able to further limit reckless government spending. I mean, I have so many ideas. Some are simple, like "take down traffic lights," and "eliminate the Post Office." The bigger ones will be to

I will walk deeper into the belly of the beast if it means I'm able to further limit reckless government spending.
 I mean, I have so many ideas. Some are simple, like

Hoes gon' be hoes so i couldn't blame tammy

Hoes gon' be hoes

 so i couldn't blame tammy

There's only one thing I hate more than lying... Skim milk. which is water that's lying about being milk.

There's only one thing I hate more than lying... Skim milk. which is water that's lying about being milk.

You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats

You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats

Salad? That's what my food eats

Salad?
 That's what my food eats

"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women ar

I was born ready i'm ron f***ing swanson

I was born ready i'm ron f***ing swanson

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
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