this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!
  drunk baby

Jalapeno Juice Stinging Your Hands? Rub your eyes. A chemical in tears will neutralize the burn.

Jalapeno Juice Stinging
Your Hands? Rub your eyes.  A chemical in tears will neutralize the burn.  Malicious Advice Mallard

I don't always iron but when I do I add a new, crisper wrinkle for every wrinkle I get rid of

I don't always iron but when I do I add a new, crisper wrinkle for every wrinkle I get rid of  The Most Interesting Man In The World

super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline

super bored when you have lots of free time  thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline  Scumbag Brain

Fails first college exam asks professor if his parents have to sign it.

Fails first college exam asks professor if his parents have to sign it.  College Freshman

If all his friends are assholes He's probably an asshole too.

If all his friends are assholes He's probably an asshole too.  Actual Advice Mallard

Omg! I have ADHD I need medicine! Drinks 4 cups of coffee daily, gets 5 hours of sleep a night and only eats processed foods.

Omg! I have ADHD I need medicine! Drinks 4 cups of coffee daily, gets 5 hours of sleep a night and only eats processed foods.  Annoying Facebook Girl

I wish I could create a first world problem meme but i have nothing to complain about

I wish I could create a first world problem meme but i have nothing to complain about  First World Problems

Friendzoned by a girl you liked? Show her how much of a man you are by whining about it like a little bitch.

Friendzoned by a girl you liked? Show her how much of a man you are by whining about it like a little bitch.  Malicious Advice Mallard

You didn't answer your phone So I called every person you have ever known

You didn't answer your phone So I called every person you have ever known  Misc