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this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years!

this one time, I got circumcised... I couldn't walk for two years! drunk baby
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336,958 shares

Jalapeno Juice Stinging Your Hands? Rub your eyes. A chemical in tears will neutralize the burn.

Jalapeno Juice Stinging Your Hands? Rub your eyes. A chemical in tears will neutralize the burn. Malicious Advice Mallard
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90,375 shares

I don't always iron but when I do I add a new, crisper wrinkle for every wrinkle I get rid of

I don't always iron but when I do I add a new, crisper wrinkle for every wrinkle I get rid of The Most Interesting Man In The World
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194,036 shares

super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline

super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline Scumbag Brain
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361,864 shares

Fails first college exam asks professor if his parents have to sign it.

Fails first college exam asks professor if his parents have to sign it. College Freshman
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412,459 shares

If all his friends are assholes He's probably an asshole too.

If all his friends are assholes He's probably an asshole too. Actual Advice Mallard
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470,548 shares

Omg! I have ADHD I need medicine! Drinks 4 cups of coffee daily, gets 5 hours of sleep a night and only eats processed foods.

Omg! I have ADHD I need medicine! Drinks 4 cups of coffee daily, gets 5 hours of sleep a night and only eats processed foods. Annoying Facebook Girl
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329,973 shares

I wish I could create a first world problem meme but i have nothing to complain about

I wish I could create a first world problem meme but i have nothing to complain about First World Problems
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273,000 shares

Friendzoned by a girl you liked? Show her how much of a man you are by whining about it like a little bitch.

Friendzoned by a girl you liked? Show her how much of a man you are by whining about it like a little bitch. Malicious Advice Mallard
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361,734 shares

You didn't answer your phone So I called every person you have ever known

You didn't answer your phone So I called every person you have ever known Misc
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223,919 shares