It's such a relief to know this is the last first date i'll ever have to go on

It's such a relief to know this is the last first date i'll ever have to go on  Overly Attached Girlfriend

When you ask your computer smart friend to solve your computer problem They're just going to use Google to find a solution

When you ask your computer smart friend to solve your computer problem  They're just going to use Google to find a solution
  Actual Advice Mallard

I'm going to workout regularly and eat healthy AAAAND I'm FAT

I'm going to workout regularly and eat healthy AAAAND I'm FAT  aaaand its gone

I don't always run out of shampoo but when I do, the empty bottle sits in my shower for the next three months

I don't always run out of shampoo but when I do, the empty bottle sits in my shower for the next three months  Misc

If you can't afford a cab ride home you can't afford to go out drinking.

If you can't afford a cab ride home you can't afford to go out drinking.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you are feeling depressed, try eating healthy and exercising before resorting to pharmaceuticals

If you are feeling depressed, try eating healthy and exercising before resorting to pharmaceuticals  Actual Advice Mallard

Susan, i found a loose thread on the couch Clear my schedule

Susan, i found a loose thread on the couch Clear my schedule  Business Cat

Sees that you're in the middle of a good stretch Slaps you in the stomach

Sees that you're in the middle of a good stretch Slaps you in the stomach  Scumbag Steve

Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves

Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves  overly manly man

I see you're eating spaghetti while wearing a white t-shirt I also like to live dangerously

I see you're eating spaghetti while wearing a white t-shirt I also like to live dangerously  live dangerously