15,034 shares
I said I was leaving him he told me he'd tie a red balloon to me and find me later
330,686 shares
I asked him how we could spice up our sex life he said that he wanted to get to fifth base
16,892 shares
told him i was pregnant with twins he named them first and repost
25,690 shares
Makes "why not zoidberg?" joke calls her a karma whore
26,765 shares
I told him that we were in a book He told me that he knew already because he saw it on Reddit
202,403 shares
he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty
632,803 shares
Asked him if he wanted to see the dolphin outside he just murmured something about crafty hurricanes
i told him i was pregnant he just yelled "the price of children is too damn high!"
19,757 shares
asked him if he wanted to try something new he said: why not Zoidberg?
25,032 shares
I asked him if he wanted some cucumber He said "I know where that's been"
20,503 shares
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