23,538 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
174,331 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
192,209 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
169,556 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
106,379 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
105,315 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,092 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
434,473 shares
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
126,570 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
379,094 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
252,576 shares
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