Unless it's cards...don't ask

Unless it's cards...don't ask - I HAVE THE AIM OF A SNIPER FROM XCOM Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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Girlfriend says "you look cute with stubble" "You too"

Girlfriend says

Has one night stand Tries to sneak out in the morning, door is locked. Can't find key. Can't get out.

Has one night stand Tries to sneak out in the morning, door is locked.  Can't find key.  Can't get out.

Never forgets a face Never remembers a name

Never forgets a face Never remembers a name

perfect, funny interaction with stranger repeat it out loud for next hour

perfect, funny interaction with stranger repeat it out loud for next hour

Girl compliments you on your appearance only topic of thought for remainder of the day

Girl compliments you on your appearance only topic of thought for remainder of the day

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over

flashes boyfriend when he walks into room doesn't realize he has friends over

has successful conversation with black coworker "see you later, dawg"

has successful conversation with black coworker

Finally goes to a party Sits and pets the cat all night

Finally goes to a party Sits and pets the cat all  night

OPENS DOOR FOR HOT GIRL AT STARBUCKS SPILLS COFFEE IN THE PROCESS

OPENS DOOR FOR HOT GIRL AT STARBUCKS SPILLS COFFEE IN THE PROCESS

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker

remembers everything about everyone I meet pretends not to, so I don't look like a stalker
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