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I try not to get into religious debates with people But when I do, it's because I really like to talk about chimpanzees and dinosaurs
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I don't always weigh myself on a scale but when I do, it's after I take a good poop.
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I don't always contradict myself, but when I do,I don't
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I don't always stay late at work but when I do, I make sure my boss notices
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I don't always wrap presents but when I do, it's a fucking disgrace.
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I don't always get a good hand when I play poker but when I do, everyone else folds
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I don't always go on facebook but when I do, I can't find the downvote button
22,082 shares
I don't always come up with ideas that i think are funny but when I do, Reddit makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit
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