Don't be a shithead

Don't be a shithead -  DEAR CHILDREN:   SHOULD I DIE FROM HEAT STROKE IN HOT YOGA CLASS I AM BEING FORCED TO TAKE TOMORROW BY MY ALLEGED “FRIENDS” HERE IS A LIST OF TEN OF THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER.  LOVE MOM  1) DON’T BE A SH** HEAD.  DON’T BE A SH The Most Interesting Man In The World

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I don't always check my Facebook news feed... but when I do, i realize that i don't give a fuck

I don't always check my Facebook news feed... but when I do, i realize that i don't give a fuck

I don't always have pregnancy scares with my girlfriend... but when I do, we celebrate not being pregnant by having more sex.

I don't always have pregnancy scares with my girlfriend... but when I do, we celebrate not being pregnant by having more sex.

I don't always wear sweat pants in public but when I do, everything in the world tries to give me a boner

I don't always wear sweat pants in public but when I do, everything in the world tries to give me a boner

I don't always play air guitar naked but when I do, I use my penis as a whammy bar

I don't always play air guitar naked but when I do, I use my penis as a whammy bar

I don't always fart in public. but when I do, I sit like this

I don't always fart in public. but when I do, I sit like this

I don't always put an exclamation point at the end of my phrases but when i do, it's because i'm chatting a girl on facebook

I don't always put an exclamation point at the end of my phrases but when i do, it's because i'm chatting a girl on facebook

I don't always forget to check the volume when I put in earbuds, but when I do, jesus fucking christ son of a bitch bastard

I don't always forget to check the volume when I put in earbuds, but when I do, jesus fucking christ son of a bitch bastard

I don't always argue with atheists but when I do, I realize they know way more about the bible than I do

I don't always argue with atheists but when I do, I realize they know way more about the bible than I do

I don't always look down at my crotch but when I do, I smile

I don't always look down at my crotch but when I do, I smile

I don't always put things in the wrong pockets but when I do, MOTHER OF FUCK WHERE IS MY PHONE

I don't always put things in the wrong pockets but when I do, MOTHER OF FUCK WHERE IS MY PHONE
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