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Neighbor with paper thin apartment goes out of town, but forgets to deactivate his alarm clock

Neighbor with paper thin apartment goes out of town, but forgets to deactivate his alarm clock - Confession Bear
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9146 shares

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.
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615,026 shares

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them
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314,679 shares

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands
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253,410 shares

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.
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235,951 shares

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood
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260,478 shares

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.
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165,842 shares

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals
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764,331 shares

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time
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279,731 shares

IF YOU WRITE "U" INSTEAD OF "YOU" I IMMEDIATELY ASSUME YOU'RE AN IDIOT

IF YOU WRITE
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185,871 shares

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent
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160,468 shares

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