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I don't always have a mustache but when I do, it's while I'm shaving my beard and confirming how dumb it looks
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I don't always have perfect hearing but when I do, it's while i'm masturbating
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I don't always make advice animals but when I do, it's because I'm too lazy to make a rage comic
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I don't always go to the ATM but when I do, I am probably about to buy some drugs
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I don't always go to my ex-girlfriends facebook but when I do, google chrome makes it the thumbnail for a week.
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I don't always smoke weed just kidding, i smoke that shit erry day
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I don't always travel home for the holidays, but when I do, I remember why I left in the first place.
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I DON'T ALWAYS GO ON SKYPE BUT WHEN I DO, I STARE AT MYSELF THE ENTIRE TIME
129,772 shares
I don't always get blackout drunk but when I do, I sure as fuck don't make myself sandwiches
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I don't always try to register for classes But when I do, all the ones I want are taken
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