Mary Humor

Mary Humor - STOP IT, MARY I! I DON'T WANNA SEE ANOTHER PROTESTANT SHISH KABOB Confession kid

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I thought saying "Jacking off" was synonymous with "slacking off" When my teacher asked where my homework was, I told her "Sorry I jacked off this weekend"

I thought saying

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND MY MOMS VIBRATOR, AND SHE TOLD IT WAS A HAND MASSAGER I PLAYED WITH IT FOR HOURS, AND EVEN PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND MY MOMS VIBRATOR, AND SHE TOLD IT WAS A HAND MASSAGER I PLAYED WITH IT FOR HOURS, AND EVEN PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

I thought 'bondage' was just another form of the word bonding... and told friends and teachers about weekend family bondage

I thought 'bondage' was just another form of the word bonding... and told friends and teachers about weekend family bondage

WHEN I WAS A KID... I took a shit in the backyard because I wanted to be like my dog.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I took a shit in the backyard because I wanted to be like my dog.

I took all the change from the tables at a restaurant and told my mom "I can't believe everyone just forgets their change!"

I took all the change from the tables at a restaurant and told my mom

Saw naked painting at museum with family Screamed across crowded room, "Mommy those look like yours"

Saw naked painting at museum with family Screamed across crowded room,

MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS GOING ON A TRIP TO SEATTLE FOR THE ENTIRE DRIVE I KEPT ASKING WHO ATTLE WAS.

MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS GOING ON A TRIP TO SEATTLE FOR THE ENTIRE DRIVE I KEPT ASKING WHO ATTLE WAS.

Watched soap operas with nana as a toddler, thought that was just how adults kissed French kissed dad at thanksgiving bc i thought i was being mature

Watched soap operas with nana as a toddler, thought that was just how adults kissed French kissed dad at thanksgiving bc i thought i was being mature

My friend told me scientists had discovered Pokemon I got lost in the woods looking for a Pikachu

My friend told me scientists had discovered Pokemon I got lost in the woods looking for a Pikachu

When i was a kid i thought the indicator arrows in a car told the driver to take a turn

When i was a kid i thought the indicator arrows in a car told the driver to take a turn
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