She knows I never drive with passengers in my car!

She knows I never drive with passengers in my car! - MOM ASKED WHERE ALL THE DIRT ON THE FLOOR MAT CAME FROM BOOGERS Foul Bachelor Frog

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i got 99 problems and they will still be there tomorrow

i got 99 problems and they will still be there tomorrow

Bake for 15 minutes? 90 seconds in microwave should do it

Bake for 15 minutes? 90 seconds in microwave should do it

Own Room has more dishes than the kitchen

Own Room has more dishes than the kitchen

find cheeto eat it

find cheeto eat it

use pizza box as ashtray for six months

use pizza box 
as ashtray for six months

Find hot dogs from 2 years ago in the freezer Meat's back on the menu, boys

Find hot dogs from 2 years ago in the freezer Meat's back on the menu, boys

hoarder? no, just lazy

hoarder? no, just lazy

grow a big bushy beard in the summer

grow a big bushy beard in the summer

Farts underneath blanket dutchovens himself

Farts underneath blanket dutchovens himself

landlord: "I was in your unit today. we need to talk." oh fuck

landlord:
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