My love life in a nutshell.

My love life in a nutshell. - YOUR CRUSH WANTS TO HUG YOU? INSTANT REDNESS AND BONER!!! Scumbag Brain

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Knows a word forgets the word when you need to use it

Knows a word forgets the word when you need to use it

Almost asleep? I should violently jerk your body to make sure you're still alive

Almost asleep? I should violently jerk your body to make sure you're still alive

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again.

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again.

Turns on computer to check something gets distracted, surfs net, only remembers at the exact same time you turn it off again.

Turns on computer to check something gets distracted, surfs net, only remembers at the exact same time you turn it off again.

ON COUCH: WON'T LET YOU STAY AWAKE TO WATCH FAVORITE SHOW IN BED: "HEY, REMEMBER THAT THING THAT'S BEEN BUGGING ALL WEEK?"

ON COUCH: WON'T LET YOU STAY AWAKE TO WATCH FAVORITE SHOW IN BED:

CLEAR, CONCISE, THOUGHT EXITS MOUTH AS COMPLETE GIBBERISH

CLEAR, CONCISE, THOUGHT EXITS MOUTH AS COMPLETE GIBBERISH

Has earned 2 bachelors, a masters, and a doctorate Needs to sing the alphabet to remember where J goes

Has earned 2 bachelors, a masters, and a doctorate Needs to sing the alphabet to remember where J goes

Can effortlessly learn any language But only while you're too young to care.

Can effortlessly learn any language But only while you're too young to care.

At a funeral. remembers funniest joke you ever heard.

At a funeral. remembers funniest joke you ever heard.

Hey, you know that song you hate? Let me sing it for you all day

Hey, you know that song you hate? Let me sing it for you all day
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