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i slept with you mum

i slept with you mum - I DID ALOT OF STUFF AND ALSO MET SOME COOL PEOPLE AND THE MEALS WE'RE AMAZING NOT SO MUCH THE WALK THERE THE FIRST NIGHT THERE WAS GOOD I MEAN I WOKE AND TOLD SOME DIRTY JOKES FOR LIKE 45 MINUTES BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY AND YEAH THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T GOODBYE! Tough Spongebob
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9225 shares

I'll have you know, my girlfriend went to a frat party for an hour last night And I only texted her 81 times

I'll have you know, my girlfriend went to a frat party for an hour last night And I only texted her 81 times
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299,988 shares

I'll have you know that I got my first pair of contact lenses yesterday And I was only an hour late to work this morning

I'll have you know that I got my first pair of contact lenses yesterday And I was only an hour late to work this morning
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126,458 shares

I'll have you know that my girlfriend and I spent 6 hours assembling IKEA furniture And we only threatened to break up twice

I'll have you know that my girlfriend and I spent 6 hours assembling IKEA furniture And we only threatened to break up twice
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701,786 shares

I'll have you know, I stated my true opinion on reddit And I only got 25 downvotes

I'll have you know, I stated my true opinion on reddit And I only got 25 downvotes
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375,640 shares

I'll have you know, I got my paycheck today and paid all my bills And I still have $20 left over

I'll have you know, I got my paycheck today and paid all my bills And I still have $20 left over
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339,695 shares

I'll have you know, I built an IKEA Dresser all on my own And only said fuck 28 times.

I'll have you know, I built an IKEA Dresser all on my own And only said fuck 28 times.
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272,887 shares

I'll have you know, I clean my ears with Q-tips even though it says not to right on the box

I'll have you know, I clean my ears with Q-tips even though it says not to right on the box
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282,870 shares

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I watched Les miserables and i only cried four times

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I watched Les miserables and i only cried four times
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235,442 shares

I'll have you know, I kept the Listerine in my mouth For the full 30 seconds

I'll have you know, I kept the Listerine in my mouth For the full 30 seconds
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108,007 shares

I'll have you know, I had blood drawn this morning and I only cried for 20 minutes.

I'll have you know, I had blood drawn this morning and I only cried for 20 minutes.
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65,558 shares

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