Today this was me

Today this was me - HAS EXPENSIVE FANCY WATCH AND IS ASKED THE TIME HAS TO PULL OUT PHONE BECAUSE I CANT TELL TIME ON A ANALOG WATCH Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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Hot chick asks me about my sex swing "Actually, it's for yoga"

Hot chick asks me about my sex swing

GF wrote me a love "haiku" I told her it had the wrong number of syllables

GF wrote me a love

two girls hold two different doors open for me quickly examines which girl is cuter so i know which door to take. runs into the divider separating both doors

two girls hold two different doors open for me quickly examines which girl is cuter so i know which door to take.
runs into the divider separating both doors

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!'

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!'

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people

hot girl at party says, "i want you" and pushes you back into the bathroom you just walked out of just got done pooping

hot girl at party says,

sees a guy in a wheelchair, holds the door open to the stairwell

sees a guy in a wheelchair, holds the door open to the stairwell

Cute Girl says you look really hot right now. "Not Really, I'm actually really comfortable."

Cute Girl says you look really hot right now.

Ask girl where her accent is from Says she just has a speech impediment

Ask girl where her accent is from Says she just has a speech impediment

hot girl flirts, gives phone #, kisses me on cheek, and grabs my ass before leaving Checks wallet to make sure she's not a professional thief

hot girl flirts, gives phone #, kisses me on cheek, and grabs my ass before leaving Checks wallet to make sure she's not a professional thief
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