good god

good god  - LOVE THY NEIGHBOR  UNLESS THERE ASSHOLES THEN SCREW THEM Advice God

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ran out of ideas for animals combined several to make platypus

ran out of ideas for animals combined several to make platypus

thou shalt not kill murders first-born babies of entire country

thou shalt not kill murders first-born babies of entire country

creates earth 6000 years ago uses 4.5 billion year old supplies

creates earth 6000 years ago uses 4.5 billion year old supplies

created the universe just wanted an apple pie

created the universe just wanted 
an apple pie

I have performed many awe-inspiring miracles coincidentally, I got tired of doing them after Satan invented videocameras

I have performed many awe-inspiring miracles coincidentally, I got tired of doing them after Satan invented videocameras

create inquisitive and skeptical humans work in mysterious ways

create inquisitive and skeptical humans work in mysterious ways

Creates two sexes Puts you in the wrong one

Creates two sexes Puts you in the wrong one

No one knows the day or hour of my return Except a senile old man who was wrong about this before

No one knows the day or hour of my return
 Except a senile old man who was wrong about this before

infinite power blames everybody else

infinite power blames everybody else

Makes gambling a sin Punishes most devoted follower to win bet with satan

Makes gambling a sin Punishes most devoted follower to win bet with satan
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