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I don't always fabricate fake arguments in my head but when I do, I piss myself off
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I don't always get asked by the waitress how everything is going, but when I do, I have a shit-load of food in my mouth
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I don't always get hit on But when I do, I'm too drunk to notice
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I don't always go to mcdonalds but when I do, monopoly is back
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I don't always buy a plunger But when I do, the cashier knows i just took a shit that clogged the toilet
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I don't always post humerous anecdotes on facebook But when I do, my family's comments ruin it
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I don't always text my girlfriend goodnight But when I do, her text back always wakes me up as soon as i fall asleep
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