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I don't always fabricate fake arguments in my head but when I do, I piss myself off
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I don't always wake up early but when I do, I still don't get any work done
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I don't always hold the door open for a girl but when I do, I get a good look on her ass
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I don't always get asked by the waitress how everything is going, but when I do, I have a shit-load of food in my mouth
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I don't always get hit on But when I do, I'm too drunk to notice
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I don't always decide to chug the remainder of the milk jug but when I do, I greatly underestimate how much is actually left
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I don't always go to mcdonalds but when I do, monopoly is back
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I don't always buy a plunger But when I do, the cashier knows i just took a shit that clogged the toilet
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I don't always post humerous anecdotes on facebook But when I do, my family's comments ruin it
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I don't always text my girlfriend goodnight But when I do, her text back always wakes me up as soon as i fall asleep
18,944 shares
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