9205 shares
My Mansion's Driveway Is So Big People Keep Mistaking it for a road
115,156 shares
I just spent an hour straightening my hair but now it's raining
158,591 shares
I forgot to bring my phone to work Now I have to work while at work
234,224 shares
I have to fly out to Hawaii for "work" But that means I have to postpone my European vacation by a week
150,663 shares
I got free tickets to an advance movie screening tonight but i can't go because i also got free tickets to a playoff hockey game
236,288 shares
Try and deposit bonus check through Chase mobile "Check amount is too large to be done through mobile banking"
71,001 shares
i hate cell phones because I can't randomly throw a fully clothed person into my pool
470,844 shares
My BMW broke down yesterday I had to drive my porsche to work
146,551 shares
I only get 5 hours sleep a night because my girlfriend insists on having sex until 1AM
189,347 shares
I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET UP SO EARLY TOMORROW TO GO TO SIX FLAGS
152,260 shares
Laugh more daily
