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got shitfaced didn't text my ex
161,453 shares
Bought Halloween mask for $20 on Friday Sold it to a drunk guy for $40 on Saturday
154,682 shares
Turned on MTV Music
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WAITING FOR THE SUBWAY STANDS RIGHT WHERE THE DOOR STOPS
233,363 shares
Noticed toilet roll was finished before I sat down
115,747 shares
found out that my wife talks to her girlfriends about me behind my back about how good i am in bed
68,687 shares
Sick but decide to go to work anyways Overstaffed and sent home with pay
213,869 shares
Read 'How to give best blowjob ever' with gf Got a blowjob right after
104,663 shares
Dentist said i've done a good job flossing. I've never flossed once
124,418 shares
Helped hot girl by pretending to be her boyfriend Became her husband
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