9326 shares
I see you've lost 1 pound this week You should reward yourself by eating whatever you like
171,280 shares
sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS
254,904 shares
Hey, I think your phone just buzzed in your pocket! just kidding, your phone isn't even in your pocket you fucking moron
344,503 shares
GET A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND SPEND ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG INSTEAD OF ENJOYING HER COMPANY
188,460 shares
super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline
361,832 shares
Overslept for work Makes you dream you're already at work so you don't get up.
243,190 shares
Contains vast amount of childhood memories, life experiences, etc... When your girlfriend asks you to tell her a story... Remembers nothing
157,479 shares
I see we still have 30 minutes of sleep until the alarm goes off Better wake you up every 2 minutes to see how much sleep you still have
291,935 shares
oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth
529,101 shares
listens to pandora because you're tired of listening to music on ipod skip every song until you find one you know... from your ipod
103,007 shares
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