SATIRE MAN

SATIRE MAN - I DON'T ALWAYS POST SATIRE ARTICLES BUT WHEN I DO, THIS IS A GODDAMN OUTRAGE!  TO THINK THAT WE ALLOW THIS SORT OF THING TO HAPPEN IN THE 21ST CENTURY IS BEYOND ME!  IT'S DESPICABLE!  WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO? The Most Interesting Man In The World

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I don't always go to walmart but when I do, i'm reminded that i hit the genetic lottery

I don't always go to walmart but when I do, i'm reminded that i hit the genetic lottery

i don't always clear my calculator but when i do, i hit both 'C' and 'CE' a bunch of times because i don't know exactly what they do

i don't always clear my calculator but when i do, i hit both 'C' and 'CE' a bunch of times because i don't know exactly what they do

I don't always bite the inside of my mouth but when i do, i bite it in the exact same spot ten more times throughout the day

I don't always bite the inside of my mouth but when i do, i bite it in the exact same spot ten more times throughout the day

I don't always have a girl coming over to hang out but when I do, I spend five hours cleaning my apartment

I don't always have a girl coming over to hang out but when I do, I spend five hours cleaning my apartment

I don't always feel like an alcoholic But when i do it's because i take out my recycling on the weekend

I don't always feel like an alcoholic But when i do it's because i take out my recycling on the weekend

I don't always ask for a to-go box But when i do i forget it in the restaurant

I don't always ask for a to-go box But when i do i forget it in the restaurant

I don't always miss a spot shaving But when i do, I compulsively feel it all day

I don't always miss a spot shaving But when i do, I compulsively feel it all day

I don't always wait for a long time for a website to load but when I do, it loads at the very same time i close the browser

I don't always wait for a long time for a website to load but when I do, it loads at the very same time i close the browser

I don't always know when someone is attracted to me but when I do, it's two years later

I don't always know when someone is attracted to me but when I do, it's two years later

I don't always meet a nice girl but when i do, i meet her boyfriend ten minutes later

I don't always meet a nice girl but when i do, i meet her boyfriend ten minutes later
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