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I don't always look up things on my smartphone But when I do, it's to prove people wrong
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i don't always try to synchronize my microwave clock with my oven clock but when I do, it's the longest minute ever
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I don't always take out the recycling but when I do, I look like a raging alcoholic.
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I don't always have the urge to put song lyrics as my FB status but when I do, I refrain
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I don't always go outside barefoot but when I do, I step on every sharp object that exists.
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I don't always post on Facebook but when I do, I offend my family and friends for Reddit karma
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I don't always shit in a public restroom but when I do, it sounds like a Michael Bay film
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I don't always slow down to let you merge in front of me But when I do, you better fucking wave
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I don't always find music I like but when I do, I listen to it continuously until I don't like it anymore
20,413 shares
I don't always use Q-Tips but when I do, there better be a lot of wax to look at.
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