in my defense, i hadn't heard from my friend in forever, and we normally talk every day

in my defense, i hadn't heard from my friend in forever, and we normally talk every day - JOKINGLY WANTS TO SAY HAVE YOU DIED OR WHAT IN FBCHAT AFRAID TO BE MEAN TO FAMILY IF HE ACTUALLY DID DIE Paranoid Parrot

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pants fold weirdly at the zipper everyone must think its an erection

pants fold weirdly at the zipper everyone must think its an erection

Car behind you takes same 3 turns as you going to be murdered

Car behind you takes same 3 turns as you going to be murdered

Has random, unexplained pain im going to die

Has random, unexplained  pain im going to die

House makes noise at 3am ROBBERS

House makes noise at 3am ROBBERS

Visits WEBMD.COm Diagnoses Self with Brain Tumor

Visits WEBMD.COm Diagnoses Self with Brain Tumor

internet connection dies while torrenting they're on to me

internet connection dies while torrenting they're on to me

i'm the only one on the road did i miss the apocalypse today?

i'm the only one on the road did i miss the apocalypse today?

Walk by and suddenly hear people laughing What am i doing wrong!

Walk by and suddenly hear people laughing What am i doing wrong!

makes new black friend fears every sentence may be somehow construed as racist

makes new black friend fears every sentence may be somehow construed as racist

turns off basement light runs upstairs as fast as fucking possible

turns off basement light runs upstairs as fast as fucking possible
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