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Asked girlfriend where she wanted to eat She gave a decisive answer
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Have to babysit a kid Sleeps the whole time, get paid to pet a cat
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Justin Bieber says he is the Kurt Cobain of his generation we all know how this ends
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Girls you used to date getting pregnant. None are yours.
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Got a full body massage Didn't pop a boner
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Carried laundry from laundry room to bedroom without dropping a sock
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Got made fun of for wearing sunscreen Only one of my friends who isnt a lobster right now
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Got a free beer at the bar. Don't even have boobs.
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Air conditioner at work broken Hot co worker takes off shirt and leaves only skimpy tank on
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Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures
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