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Had a date for valentine's day Had to cancel to go to work, where I was fired
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Spends all semester trying to sleep with girl gets her pregnant
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Uses dating website after divorce and finds 100% match is ex-wife
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Finds 99% match on Okcupid Knows her in real life and was already rejected
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Only Facebook friend is Mom Cyberbullied
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Runs into Michael J Fox At a urinal while wearing sandals
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gets expensive pair of headphones for Christmas Cuts the cord while opening the package
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uses rape whistle alerts more rapists of his location
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Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust
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Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian
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