9498 shares
Once you go black friday shopping with me you will find some great bargains
24,305 shares
I jacked that lady's car up so i could change the flat tire
425,616 shares
Die pig! Die! Damn, Angry Birds is tough.
56,017 shares
I drive drunk Friends home from the bar so they don't have to pay for a cab
66,942 shares
I need another 40 pages to finish my doctoral thesis
15,511 shares
everyday im shuffling my schedule so i can fit in more time for golf at the country club
28,046 shares
I left my pregnant girlfriend chocolates and a new novel before leaving for work today.
68,155 shares
They see me rolling down the window to ask for directions, and they immediately stop and help me out. The people in this city are so friendly.
27,493 shares
What did you just say? How about I shoot you A text because the reception in this building is awful right now
133,917 shares
Fuck the police I prefer sting's solo albums
293,434 shares
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