I am American

I am American - IN MY HEART I AM AMERICAN  IN MY BRAIN I AM A DUMBASS Bad Luck Brian

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Had a date for valentine's day Had to cancel to go to work, where I was fired

Had a date for valentine's day Had to cancel to go to work, where I was fired

Spends all semester trying to sleep with girl gets her pregnant

Spends all semester trying to sleep with girl gets her pregnant

Uses dating website after divorce and finds 100% match is ex-wife

Uses dating website after divorce and finds 100% match is ex-wife

Finds 99% match on Okcupid Knows her in real life and was already rejected

Finds 99% match on Okcupid Knows her in real life and was already rejected

Only Facebook friend is Mom Cyberbullied

Only Facebook friend is Mom Cyberbullied

Runs into Michael J Fox At a urinal while wearing sandals

Runs into Michael J Fox  At a urinal while wearing sandals

gets expensive pair of headphones for Christmas Cuts the cord while opening the package

gets expensive pair of headphones for Christmas  Cuts the cord while opening the package

uses rape whistle alerts more rapists of his location

uses rape whistle alerts more rapists of his location

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral  Another One Bites the Dust

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian
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