State of Politics as told by a penguin

State of Politics as told by a penguin - SHUTS DOWN BRIDGE IN NEW JERSEY BY CLOSING MULTIPLE LANES FOR REVENGE (BUT STAYED SOBER AND DIDN'T KILL A WOMAN BY DRIVING OFF BRIDGE) BRIDGES?  DON'T TALK ABOUT BRIDGES!  THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND SHOULDN'T BE JOKED ABOUT!!!  WAIT....THIS WASN'T ABOUT TEDDY?  BURN HIM.  HE MADE PEOPLE WAIT. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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MAKES HALLOWE'EN COSTUME BASED ON MEME SPENDS ENTIRE NIGHT EXPLAINING INTERNET JOKES TO PEOPLE

MAKES HALLOWE'EN COSTUME BASED ON MEME SPENDS ENTIRE NIGHT EXPLAINING INTERNET JOKES TO PEOPLE

Asks a good question in class Too much adrenaline to listen to the answer

Asks a good question in class Too much adrenaline to listen to the answer

holds door for girl to mens room

holds door for girl to mens room

has awesome idea for Halloween costume doesn't get invited to any halloween parties

has awesome idea for Halloween costume doesn't get invited to any halloween parties

Thinks up amazingly witty and sarcastic response stutters and mixes up words saying it

Thinks up amazingly witty and sarcastic response stutters and mixes up words saying it

THINK OF AMAZINGLY WITTY SARCASTIC RESPONSE EVERYONE AROUND IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND

THINK OF AMAZINGLY WITTY SARCASTIC RESPONSE EVERYONE AROUND IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND

Cooks romantic dinner for girlfriend gives her food poisoning

Cooks romantic dinner for girlfriend gives her food poisoning

Maintains perfect eye contact during conversation Didn't capture a single word she said

Maintains perfect eye contact during conversation Didn't capture a single word she said

cute cashier asks "Can I get your number?" Me: "Sure, we can hang out" She needs it because the cash register is asking for it.

cute cashier asks

Hot girl: I heard you've got a big penis. Me: oh that's just a rumor

Hot girl:  I heard you've got a big penis. Me:  oh that's just a rumor
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