State of Politics as told by a penguin

State of Politics as told by a penguin - SHUTS DOWN BRIDGE IN NEW JERSEY BY CLOSING MULTIPLE LANES FOR REVENGE (BUT STAYED SOBER AND DIDN'T KILL A WOMAN BY DRIVING OFF BRIDGE) BRIDGES?  DON'T TALK ABOUT BRIDGES!  THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND SHOULDN'T BE JOKED ABOUT!!!  WAIT....THIS WASN'T ABOUT TEDDY?  BURN HIM.  HE MADE PEOPLE WAIT. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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Girl mentions impressive penis size Replies with, "Na, I've seen bigger"

Girl mentions impressive penis size Replies with,

"Do you like role playing?" You mean like dungeons and dragons?

Catch a cute girl's eye with your elbow

Catch a cute girl's eye with your elbow

awesome date both living with parents, no place to hook up

awesome date both living with parents, no place to hook up

Driving to beach with friends Create special iPod playlist so they won't hear my weird music when shuffling

Driving to beach with friends Create special iPod playlist so they won't hear my weird music when shuffling

Saves little boy's football from rolling to busy road hits his face when kicking it back

Saves little boy's football from rolling to busy road hits his face when kicking it back

Gets flashed by girls in adjacent car pretends to ignore them

Gets flashed by girls in adjacent car pretends to ignore them

get a new video game at birthday party secretly wish everyone would leave so you could play

get a new video game at birthday party secretly wish everyone would leave so you could play

having lunch with girl tomorrow spends all day coming up with conversation topics

having lunch with girl tomorrow spends all day coming up with conversation topics

Make out with hot chick after drinking she decides to quit drinking the next day

Make out with  hot chick after drinking she decides to quit drinking the next day
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