9226 shares
Not as forever alone with a pet...
13,419 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
206,143 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
286,439 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
247,133 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
116,173 shares
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
125,235 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
239,951 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
49,416 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
53,862 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
152,275 shares
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