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I don't always get visitors in my office but when i do, it's right after I fart
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I don't always try to synchronize the microwave clock with the oven clock but when i do, it's the longest minute of all time
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I don't always make pasta but when i do, i make twice as much as i meant to
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I don't always walk around with my blanket draped over my shoulders But when i do, I feel like the lord of winterfell Caption 3 goes here
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I don't always drink the last of the OJ straight from the carton but when i do, I vastly underestimate the amount that's left
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I don't always skype But when i do, I look at myself Caption 3 goes here
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I don't always get a song stuck in my head But when i do, it's always a pop song that I hate Caption 3 goes here
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I don't always turn the radio down while driving But when i do, it's because i'm lost as fuck Caption 3 goes here
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I don't always give a girl an orgasm But when i do, she spits it out Caption 3 goes here
330,257 shares
I don't always have sex but when I do it usually ends in an apology
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