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Couldn't find my car in the parking lot Because I couldn't remember which one I drove today.
90,398 shares
the 90 inch HD tv i've just bought won't fit in my porsche
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the channel i switch to during commercials is also showing commercials
435,075 shares
I dropped my Macbook On my other Macbook
623,245 shares
I went to the bathroom at work and forgot my phone at my desk
66,198 shares
my vibrator battery died now it's a dildo
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looking in the fridge "the fridge is too full of food to find what I'm looking for"
264,217 shares
Lost my job, got new job same day No time for vacation.
79,471 shares
i'm so hungry but i just brushed my teeth
51,537 shares
I want to take a yoga class but i cant trust my farts
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