So my friend has a 35 year old GF while he's 18. Told me this

So my friend has a 35 year old GF while he's 18. Told me this - SHE TAKES CARE OF ME, DOES MY LAUNDRY AND COOK ME FOOD SHE'S LIKE A SECOND MOM, BUT WITH SEXUAL BENEFITS 10 Guy

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Seals are just dog-mermaids

Seals are just dog-mermaids

Planets and people are both 70% water "Dude we are like miniature planets."

Planets and people are both 70% water

what size pizza do you want? "medium-rare"

what size pizza do you want?

Tries to use burrito as remote

Tries to use burrito as remote

dude, turn the tv down. don't wanna waste sound.

dude, turn the tv down. don't wanna waste sound.

Orders at Subway "I'll have a football meatlong"

Orders at Subway

Orders food at McDonald's "How many does it cost?"

Orders food at McDonald's

Yo, how high are you? 5'11"

Yo, how high are you? 5'11

How would you like your pancakes? Scrambled

How would you like your pancakes? Scrambled

eats easymac without adding cheese powder eats the cheese powder by itself

eats easymac without adding cheese powder eats the cheese powder by itself
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