431,471 shares
Got glasses to correct vision Girlfriend got better looking instead of uglier
172,584 shares
I've been married to a vegetarian for 4 years She cooks meat for me
137,266 shares
been dating a vegitarian for 18 months still eat whatever the fuck i want
196,377 shares
completely forgot and left laptop on top of car still there when i got home
50,867 shares
GF breaks up with me 2 days before leaving on a vacation to Europe the airline feels bad for me, refunds me her ticket
569,706 shares
Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences
602,535 shares
Driving home from work after a 12 hour shift every traffic light is green
161,867 shares
Broke up with ex-girlfriend a year ago still pays me back the money she owes me, today
124,488 shares
Bought $3 bag of pesos at yard sale worth $160
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Got drunk alone on Valentine's day Didn't call ex girlfriend
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