362,696 shares
Your steak is too bloody? Give it one of your tampons
296,026 shares
Pour me a glass of whiskey, son i have to take me heart medication.
222,031 shares
The reason I only had one heart attack Was because my heart wasn't such a dumbass to attack me twice
549,793 shares
Im allergic to whiskey It makes my knuckles bleed
Your mom's out of town this week Today's meal shall be steak with a side of shut the fuck up
208,214 shares
i see you shaved i'm sorry the weight of being a man was too much for you
204,520 shares
It took you 2 trips to take out the garbage? Was your tampon weighing you down?
405,433 shares
tumblr? last time i tumbled was over a pile of bodies in korea
267,797 shares
shot glasses? you mean sippy cups?
277,394 shares
Why do i need to know how to sew? My cuts don't stitch themselves
117,170 shares
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