My dad would swear then say "excuse my french" one day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and i raised my hand

My dad would swear then say

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WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought my family was breaking the law when we drank soda in the car

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought my family was breaking the law when we drank soda in the car

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the tip was money that my dad forgot, so I took it everytime and never told anyone

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the tip was money that my dad forgot, so I took it everytime and never told anyone

As a kid I thought "euthanize" was spelled "youth-anize" I then suggested to my parents that we "youth-anize" grandma since she's getting old.

As a kid I thought

WHEN I WAS A KID. I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.

WHEN I WAS A KID. I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.

When I was a kid... Before I knew about sex, I became concerned about spontaneous pregnancy, and how I would care for a kid when I was 8 and jobless

When I was a kid... Before I knew about sex, I became concerned about spontaneous pregnancy, and how I would care for a kid when I was 8 and jobless

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the laugh tracks on sitcoms were actually people in their living room laughing at the show. i would sit close to the TV and laugh as loud as i could hoping to hear myself on TV

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the laugh tracks on sitcoms were actually people in their living room laughing at the show. i would sit close to the TV and laugh as loud as i could hoping to hear myself on TV

My dad would swear then say "excuse my french" one day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and i raised my hand

My dad would swear then say

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious
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