Kisses your balls before bed "I just kissed the kids goodnight."

Kisses your balls before bed

487,653 shares

Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.

Roses are red, I'm having a baby. Marry me now, or I'll say that you raped me.

Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?

Is it nice touching what your child will one day drink milk from?

Dating 6 Weeks: Pins wedding invitations and baby announcements to Pintrest

Dating 6 Weeks: Pins wedding invitations and baby announcements to Pintrest

I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning

I save all your voicemails and listen to them every morning

When I die I want you to die too

When I die I want you to die too

Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?

Told my girlfriend we could probably afford a vacation in about a year. Oh, you mean for our honeymoon?

You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child

You should give me a picture of your younger self So i can tell people we have a child

You say restraining order i say long distance relationship

You say restraining order i say long distance relationship

Sure you can have "boy's night out" 32 text messages, 45 missed calls, 18 voicemails

Sure you can have

I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again

I'm going to learn all your mom's favorite recipes So you'll never need her again
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