Kisses your balls before bed "I just kissed the kids goodnight."

Kisses your balls before bed

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Guys' Night out? You're so silly, I'm not a guy

Guys' Night out? You're so silly, I'm not a guy

You were visiting your grandma in the hospital? I feel like you never have time for me anymore.

You were visiting your grandma in the hospital? I feel like you never have time for me anymore.

We have the same phone but your battery has drained more today? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TEXTING ALL DAY?

We have the same phone but your battery has drained more today? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TEXTING ALL DAY?

i put your relationship status as single Now defriend everyone that liked

i put your relationship status as single Now defriend everyone that liked

I saw your ex in the grocery store last week... I'll go get the milk...you stay in the car.

I saw your ex in the grocery store last week... I'll go get the milk...you stay in the car.

GPS is set for a nice road trip and the first directions are announced Why are you using the girl voice?

GPS is set for a nice road trip and the first directions are announced  Why are you using the girl voice?

after we die, we're both going to get cremated then they'll mix our ashes together so we'll be together forever & ever

after we die, we're both going to get cremated then they'll mix our ashes together so we'll be together forever & ever

you lost your house key? here, you can have this copy. I have lots at home.

you lost your house key? here, you can have this copy. I have lots at home.

i traded your iphone 4s for the iphone4 I don't want you talking to siri.

i traded your iphone 4s for the iphone4 I don't want you talking to siri.

I watched you sleep all night You need to clean your window

I watched you sleep all night You need to clean your window
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