My in-laws are visiting and I have an unexpected day off work I put on my scrubs and went to the "hospital" anyway, just to avoid them

My in-laws are visiting and I have an unexpected day off work I put on my scrubs and went to the

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I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them

I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands

Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.

I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.

I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time

I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time

IF YOU WRITE "U" INSTEAD OF "YOU" I IMMEDIATELY ASSUME YOU'RE AN IDIOT

IF YOU WRITE

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent

If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended  I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent
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