315,286 shares
I have a good memory But I pretend I do not remember to avoid being considered as a stalker.
615,022 shares
I tell dumb people I don't know how to do something Because its difficult to explain it to them
314,677 shares
Sometimes I don't wash my hands in public bathrooms Because I trust my penis more than I trust the things I'd have to touch to wash my hands
253,410 shares
I dont delete trashy/ghetto facebook friends because their statuses make me feel better about myself.
235,950 shares
when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood
260,477 shares
I keep the one tie i own, tied. because i don't know how to retie it.
165,842 shares
I fart in my boss’s office every morning before she arrives, and now she has facilities checking the walls for dead animals
764,321 shares
I kind of wish Rihanna gets beat by Chris Brown again so that she might learn this time
279,731 shares
IF YOU WRITE "U" INSTEAD OF "YOU" I IMMEDIATELY ASSUME YOU'RE AN IDIOT
185,870 shares
If you let your kids run around a restaurant unattended I immediately assume that you're a terrible parent
160,468 shares
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