317,253 shares
I found my dad's alter ego account on a message board I purposely troll him and then laugh after he calls me up to complain about the idiots he talks to online.
When women complain about their exes i've never met i usually side with their exes
84,212 shares
I tell my girlfriend I make much lower than I actually do So I don't have to spend as much on her.
79,747 shares
The only reason I still use Facebook is so I can watch the people I hate become failures at life
183,077 shares
When Someone tells me she is a strong independent woman I actually think she's just very lonely
146,061 shares
I only want to take up running so I can eat more.
113,870 shares
I only open the passenger door for my girlfriend when I need to walk around the car to fart before I get in.
190,813 shares
When I have an argument with my girlfriend I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house
467,964 shares
I'm overly polite to people who work in fast food because I know their job is horrible
155,069 shares
I ACTUALLY ENJOY COOKING FOR MY HUSBAND BUT ACT LIKE IT'S A PAIN, SO HE FEELS GUILTY AND DOES MORE ERRANDS AROUND THE HOUSE
178,231 shares
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