Oh you're reading a book? That's nice. Let me distract you with another thought so you can forget that WHOLE page you just read.

Oh you're reading a book? That's nice. Let me distract you with another thought so you can forget that WHOLE page you just read. - Oh you're reading a book? That's nice. Let me distract you with another thought so you can forget that WHOLE page you just read.  Scumbag Brain

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I see you've lost 1 pound this week You should reward yourself by eating whatever you like

I see you've lost 1 pound this week You should reward yourself by eating whatever you like

sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS

sets alarm for seven Wakes up at 4:00, 5:00 and 6:00 to check the time OVERSLEEPS

Hey, I think your phone just buzzed in your pocket! just kidding, your phone isn't even in your pocket you fucking moron

Hey, I think your phone just buzzed in your pocket! just kidding, your phone isn't even in your pocket you fucking moron

GET A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND SPEND ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG INSTEAD OF ENJOYING HER COMPANY

GET A BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND SPEND ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG INSTEAD OF ENJOYING HER COMPANY

super bored when you have lots of free time thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline

super bored when you have lots of free time  thinks of tons of fun things to do when you have a deadline

Overslept for work Makes you dream you're already at work so you don't get up.

Overslept for work Makes you dream you're already at work so you don't get up.

Contains vast amount of childhood memories, life experiences, etc... When your girlfriend asks you to tell her a story... Remembers nothing

Contains vast amount of childhood memories, life experiences, etc... When your girlfriend asks you to tell her a story... Remembers nothing

I see we still have 30 minutes of sleep until the alarm goes off Better wake you up every 2 minutes to see how much sleep you still have

I see we still have 30 minutes of sleep until the alarm goes off Better wake you up every 2 minutes to see how much sleep you still have

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth

oh, the food is too hot for your hand? quick, put it in your mouth

listens to pandora because you're tired of listening to music on ipod skip every song until you find one you know... from your ipod

listens to pandora because you're tired of listening to music on ipod skip every song until you find one you know... from your ipod
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