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Studies ex-girlfriends new baby photos Just to make sure it isnt mine
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car behind you makes the same turn i'm being followed
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Arrives at corrective laser eye surgery clinic Why do all doctors wear glasses?
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DRIVING BEHIND SLOW DRIVER DRIVE SLIGHTLY TO LEFT SO THAT DRIVER BEHIND CAN SEE THAT IT'S NOT ME WHO IS SLOW
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Home Alone close door to pee anyway
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Girlfriend is sick MUST BE PREGNANT
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accidentally looks in to securtiy camera Oh god, they'll think i'm a shoplifter
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Fat person gets on elevator Casually check weight limit of elevator
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