118,899 shares
I maintain good relationships with exes for the sole reason of potentially having sex with them again
179,186 shares
I ran Over The Neighbor's Cat And Later Helped Them Put Up "Missing" Posters
415,501 shares
When i see little people I want to jump over them
119,630 shares
Sometimes I have beer and ice cream for breakfast Just to remind myself I am an adult
177,105 shares
I wish I had a girlfriend Just to have someone to cuddle with
139,337 shares
When I see someone wearing anything Tap Out I assume they are a douche
174,771 shares
When I see 30 pictures of someone's DIY project I skip straight to the end to see how it worked out.
197,760 shares
Anytime I hear someone is religious I automatically think of them as less intelligent
525,925 shares
I use Self-checkout So people working there don't judge my purchases
153,942 shares
I won't tell my wife to go make me a sandwich because I make better sandwiches
123,753 shares
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