Me: "One sec, I have to grab my scarf" Dad: "You mean your beard?"

Me:

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Bruises are like stickers for big boys

Bruises are like stickers for big boys

Pain pills? you mean bitch mints

Pain pills? you mean bitch mints

I had a heart attack last night But I didn't want to wake you so I just powered through it

I had a heart attack last night But I didn't want to wake you so I just powered through it

Nascar Car Crashes? You mean the elimination round

Nascar Car Crashes? You mean the elimination round

Medicine? You mean alcohol

Medicine? You mean alcohol

was i a Boy scout? no. when i was your age, we had the war.

was i a Boy scout? no. when i was your age,    we had the war.

You went to the doctor for a tummy ache? How many purses did they prescribe you?

You went to the doctor for a tummy ache? How many purses did they prescribe you?

permanent scar? you mean free tattoo

permanent scar? you mean free tattoo

kid urinal ? you mean the long-dick comfort station

kid urinal ? you mean the long-dick comfort station

Inhaler? You mean Cigar

Inhaler? You mean Cigar
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