253,766 shares
Once you go black friday shopping with me you will find some great bargains
24,302 shares
I jacked that lady's car up so i could change the flat tire
425,613 shares
Die pig! Die! Damn, Angry Birds is tough.
56,015 shares
I drive drunk Friends home from the bar so they don't have to pay for a cab
66,940 shares
I need another 40 pages to finish my doctoral thesis
15,510 shares
everyday im shuffling my schedule so i can fit in more time for golf at the country club
28,043 shares
I left my pregnant girlfriend chocolates and a new novel before leaving for work today.
68,154 shares
They see me rolling down the window to ask for directions, and they immediately stop and help me out. The people in this city are so friendly.
27,491 shares
What did you just say? How about I shoot you A text because the reception in this building is awful right now
133,915 shares
Fuck the police I prefer sting's solo albums
293,432 shares
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